Girl Talk
by Kiba Sniper
Summary: Benny interrupts Bobby when he is talking to Chloe, leading to Bobby confessing that he likes her. Taking the initiative, Benny runs off to tell Chloe, but Bobby is not pleased with his henchman's idea, leading to someone almost drowning. Mild Bobby/Chloe


Wrote this for some lulz and the lack of Bobby/Benny friendshippers. Also, my first Psychonauts fic, so go easy. I noticed that Bobby has a lisp in the game, so I added that in for his dialogue.

Psychonauts © Tim Schafer

Girl Talk

Bobby snatched Benny by his ears, dragging him away from her with his blue cheeks stained red in furious embarrassment. Benny continued his abrupt cries, demanding to be released through his frantic apologies, but his shrieks hardly seemed to affect the irritated bully. Once they were far out of hearing range, and Bobby's knuckles turned stark white from gripping onto Benny's gigantic ears, he slammed Benny against one of the cabins. Watching Benny's face contort in horror brought a sick, twisted sense of pleasure to Bobby, smirking at his lackey's weakness.

"C'mon, boss, I didn't mean anything by it…" Benny murmured frightfully.

"Oh, yeah? Then why were ya interruptin' when I tried talking to Chloe, huh?" Bobby snarled in his usual lisp.

"I-I wasn't! Honest, boss!"

Bobby glanced over his shoulder before throwing one arm out in exasperation. "Don't ya lie right in my face, Nose!"

Benny squirmed, trying to pry himself away, but Bobby relinquished his strong grasp on him. Falling onto his bottom, he rubbed his sore ears, groaning before finding the nerve to glance up to Bobby. Thankfully, Bobby was gazing back towards the campgrounds, and Benny attempted to follow his stare. Getting up, he used to wooden cabin for support and squinted, trying to find the cause of his distress.

When Benny was returning from their cabin with some fireworks to set off to annoy Coach Oleander with Bobby's telekinesis, he found his boss deep in conversation with Chloe. He was blushing profusely, cheeks gleaming purple from talking to her. Benny was confused, knowing that Bobby sometimes protected her from what he deemed as "bullying," even if others were talking to her. When he came over with the fireworks, he heard Bobby about to say something.

"So, uh, there's shomethin' that I wanted to, um, shay…Chloe, I think I lo-"

"Hey, what'cha doin', boss? Oh, hey, Chloe! Are you still looking for your alien buddies?" Benny interjected, smirking mockingly.

Which lead to Bobby's head snapping over to him and heaving him away by his ears.

"Nose, you butthead! Why'd ya go an' interrupt?" Bobby seethed, glaring at him.

"I didn't mean to do anything, boss, honest!" Benny cried, knowing his telekinesis was below par in comparison to Bobby. "I-I was just getting the stuff like you told me to!"

Bobby still appeared ready to murder him. Placing one hand on his head, he raised the other and levitated Benny off the ground. Benny was tempted to scream if Bobby had not slapped his hand onto his mouth, effectively cutting him off. The blue boy stared over his shoulder, watching Chloe in the distance as she fiddled with some "doo-hickey contraption" to contact with the aliens. A rueful smile graced his lean face, but his snarl instantly returned when he located Benny's massive ear from the corner of his eye.

"As for you, I should kick your shtupid butt all the way to the Pashific Coast, ya Dumbo-eared idiot!" Bobby nearly shrieked, slamming Benny against the wall once more.

Yelping, Benny rubbed his arms sheepishly before muttering, "I didn't mean anything by it. I just wanted to have fun with you."

Releasing a held, aggravated sigh, Bobby backed up to the fireworks that he forced Benny to drop when he slammed him against the cabin. Collecting them in his ears, he tossed them lazily in the window when he realized they were at Raz' cabin. Any moment now, the little do-gooder would come back, and Bobby would ignore the fireworks, sending him into a panic like no other to find his possessions and home exploding around him. All in good fun, right?

"What were you two talking about, boss?" Benny asked, hoping to divert Bobby just enough to live longer.

However, the comment only brought a fit of anger to Bobby's face as he slammed his knuckles a few inches above Benny's shoulder. Hearing Benny yelp, he clutched his shirt, thrusting him back into the air and hissed, "Oh, wouldn't you like ta know, butthead?"

Being used to Bobby's quickness to anger, Benny hardly flinched. Instead, he shrugged as Bobby backed off. "If you're willing to tell me."

Bobby stared down at Benny, who curiously gazed up to him. His henchman would always do that, look up with his wide, hopeful eyes that his boss would spare him some tidbit of secret information. Bobby was not an open person, preferring to hide his emotions with cruel, blunt insults and jabs to get someone off his back. Around Benny, he would either knock him down or order him to do something like putting a new victim on his "beat up" list. Pinching his brow, Bobby gave a disgusted sigh.

"Fine! Here's the thing, Nose, it's about Chloe-"

"Kuh-low-ee."

Bobby broke off, blinking in surprise. "What?"

"That's how you pronounced her name."

Bobby followed up with a wallop to Benny's skull. Watching Benny hold his head brought an annoyed, but amused smile to his lips. "Yeah, you better shut up! Don't make fun of the way I talk!"

"S-sorry, boss," Benny grumbled, rubbing his sore head. He could only imagine when the black eye would be coming. "So, what's up with you and Chloe?"

The sudden pink tint on his light blue cheeks, almost turning them violet. He quickly searched over his shoulder, trying to locate any campers, especially Maloof, Mikhail, and Raz the Spaz. If any of those three found out, he would lose all of his credit and perhaps the Chloe's respect if he did not throw himself off a bridge first. His hair wobbled as he frantically searched around. Taking a breath, he ushered Benny into their cabin and locked the door with his telekinesis.

"All right, I'll tell ya, but if ya think about laughin', it'll be the last thing you ever do! Ya got that?" When Benny nodded, Bobby reluctantly sighed and shuffled himself over to his bed. He slumped down as Benny obediently plodded behind, standing at the edge of the bed. "Well…I've been havin' these weird thoughts…about Chloe, y'know. I've been hangin' out with her a lot, but I dunno why. It's just like I feel…different 'round her."

Benny's mouth dropped a centimeter, shocked at Bobby's statements. "Wait…are you, like, in love with her?"

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY?" Bobby's scream shook the entire cabin, falling backwards and off the bed. He panted heavily, lunging to his feet, but slipped again from the blanket and remained on the floor. When Benny attempted to poke him, he snatched his dark lavender wrist and pinned him against the bed. "I ain't in love with her! I just-!"

"-like her?" Benny finished, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. I mean, no! I mean…" Bobby narrowed his glare at a victoriously smirking Benny. "I hate you."

"Well, if you like her so much, why don't you just tell her?"

Bobby raised an eyebrow, sitting back on the bed with a half-hearted. "You sound so stupid! Me, tellin' Chloe that I like 'er! She prolly wouldn't understand what I meant…"

"Okay! I'll tell her for you, boss!" Benny was out the door faster than Bobby could blink.

Bobby sat on the bed for a few moments, attempting to register what Benny said. He crossed his arms, staring at the open door that Benny unlocked with his weaker powers. A chilling wind blew in, making Bobby rub his lanky arms. Standing up, he suddenly realized what Benny said.

"NOSE! YOU BUTTHEAD, GET BACK HERE!" Bobby roared, initiating the chase.

However, as Bobby frantically darted around the camp, tossing random campers away in the process, he could not find Benny. He checked everywhere, from the forest, to Mikhail's hunting grounds for the 'hairless bear,' to Oleander's training room, and even the porter potties. Benny was nowhere in sight, making his heart jump and lurch faster and faster than ever. The little, purple twerp was going to have his ears ripped off for sure! Bobby would murder him, rip him down into little pieces if Benny revealed his secret!

Pausing to catch his breath, Bobby placed his hands onto his knees. The last thing he needed was Chloe finding out. If Benny told her, he would personally dismember him and burn him beyond recognition. At the very least, he thought he could trust his henchman since he was like loyal puppy to him. To expose his greatest secret was the largest breach of trust. Bobby's head swerved around, calling out for Benny in desperation.

"Who you looking for, bully?"

"Crap," Bobby muttered before facing Mikhail. "Oh, hey, commie. What'cha doin' here? Spyin' fer the Soviets?"

"I was looking for bear when I heard bully screaming," Mikhail replied, raising his arm. "You have not been bullying Maloof."

"Eh, I've got more important matters. Say, listen, you seen Benny around? I gotta throttle him."

Mikhail's eyes narrowed dangerously, clenching his fist. Bobby yelped as he was suddenly hanging upside down with all of the blood rushing to his head. "Why you continue to bully?"

He squirmed, writhing and flailing. "I'm not bullying him! He's gonna reveal shomethin' important to Chloe! Lemme go, commie!"

Mikhail reluctantly dropped him, watching him fall on his head, but his afro provided him protection. "Small, lesser bully ran to left."

Instead of thanking him, Bobby pushed past him and ran again. Just for an extra measure, he snapped his fingers, and Mikhail's hat was set on fire. Bursting out into laughter, he quickly vanished into the forest before Mikhail could murder him.

The forest led him to the beach, and his mouth dropped. He was so going to kill Benny!

Benny was sitting with Chloe at the water's edge with the light blue sky meshing almost perfectly with the clear ocean. They seemed to be deep in conversation, and Benny was doing most of the talking. Bobby panicked internally, hiding behind a few bushes and peeked his head out, cursing his burnt orange, cotton candy-like afro for being so visible. They continued speaking, and Bobby internally agonized over what Benny was saying. If he wanted to continue his persona as top bully, he needed to stop them, but his legs turned into cement, refusing to budge.

…

"And…that is what he said about me?" Chloe asked, and Benny nodded. She narrowed her eyes behind her helmet, hissing, "If you are lying, Earthling…"

"No, no! I'm not!" Benny waved his hands quickly along with his hands. "Bobby really likes you, even more than he likes me!"

"The bruises you sport do not point to Bobby 'liking' you."

Benny winced, rubbing his bare arms that revealed a few healing bruises from Bobby's abuse. "W-well, Bobby just gets like that sometimes…"

Chloe looked back down to the sea, digesting the information given to her. Bobby liked her? Out of all the campers, her? While she knew Bobby as an unruly, callous boy, he was the one always asking if she needed help with her experiments. He would willingly allow her to shock him into almost epileptic seizures to try to see if her devices would work on telekinetic energy. Bobby followed her around a lot, asking if she needed anything or wanted to talk. He was the first Earthling to ever do that in Whispering Rock.

Bobby also once protected her from Maloof and Mikhail, who were usually such nice people, but since Maloof gotten Mikhail's protection, he had gotten a bit of a mean streak. Maloof offered her "protection" from any harm if she bought Mikhail's skills, but she passed. Mikhail thought that was an abrupt attack on his skills, threatening to use the Deadly Nelson on her. In her poor, naïve manner, she stated that it sounded like somewhat like a useless, empty threat. That was a direct assault on his powers, forcing Mikhail to almost use his Deadly Nelson and constrict her of breathing. Maloof tried to calm Mikhail down, but to no avail. She thought she was dead if Bobby had not intervened by slamming himself into Mikhail. He caught her before she fell to the ground and ran. Bobby scolded her after anxiously asking if she were all right, saying that Mikhail was a "commie" and "doesn't understand anything."

"He's all about finding that stupid bear of his! He's sooo stupid that it isn't funny!" Bobby proclaimed. "Don't get involved with 'em. They've got nerdy germs oozing offa them, an' the commie'll prolly mistake you for that bear of his!"

Rushing out from the forest was Bobby like a mad, blue lion. Benny screamed as Bobby tackled him into the water, ripping his ears out. He squirmed, trying to swim away, but Bobby pushed him deeper into the water's ripples. Bobby's hands found Benny's throat, strangling the life out of him as Benny realized the surface was slipping father and farther away.

_Damn you, Benny! Why the heck would ya do that? I never wanted Chloe to know how I felt! _Bobby screamed telepathically, shaking him.

_I-I just wanted to help you, boss! B-Bobby, I-I can't breathe! Please, stop! _Benny begged, losing his grip on Bobby's arms. His eyes slowly closed, finding Bobby's menacing gaze to be softening slightly as he thought, _I only wanted to make you happy…boss…_

Realizing what he was doing, Bobby gasped as Benny suddenly went limp. Shrieking his name underwater, Bobby swam up to the surface, taking in a deep breath of air and realized how far away from shore he was. It was a few yards, and Bobby was hardly an expert swimmer, so he dogpaddled through the water until he realized he had telekinesis. Slapping himself in the face, Bobby used his levitation powers and heaved himself back to shore as Chloe stared at them in horror. Before Bobby realized it, Chloe jumped up and slapped him harshly across the face.

"You fool! In your feeble, primitive brain, why would you even think of doing something so horrid?" Chloe barked as Bobby dropped Benny from the shock.

"I-I didn't…I just…I got mad…" Bobby's stutters did not endear to her better side, finding her glare to be so wicked that it pierced his cracking heart. Kneeling down to Benny, he shook his henchman, his only real friend, gently and watched as he spat out water. "Benny, wake up…I'm sorry."

"B-boss?" Benny sputtered, eyes blearily opening to find Bobby wiping his eyes. "Why-why are you crying?"

"I'm sorry…I'm the stupid one," Bobby admitted as Benny sat up. A few lone tears trickled down his cheeks, making him…whimper? Yes, Bobby Zilch was crying at this point, head hanging low in shame. He almost allowed his best friend to die in order to save his lackluster pride. If Benny died, well, he would be nothing without his little buddy following him around everywhere like a lost dog.

Benny stared at his boss incredulously, not believing that he, Bobby Zilch, was sobbing. He and Chloe exchanged concerned looks as Benny quietly, awkwardly patted his back. "C'mon, boss, it's all right. I'm not dead. I only wanted-"

"-for a selfish butthole like me ta be happy, I know. Thanks, Benny. Sorry for mishtreating you…"

"Coming from you, Bobby, that was very…sweet," Chloe stated, grinning gently.

Bobby blushed, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly and chuckled nervously. "Oh, um, that was, uh, yeah…"

"Bobby, we still need to work on you." She sighed, shaking her head.

Benny laughed. "Especially his teeth!"

Bobby responded by walloping him over the head.

"…You two need some serious counseling," Chloe stated and shook her head once more. "Bobby?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Benny said that you liked me."

Bobby opened his mouth, closed it, and glared at Benny. "I should've let you drown."

"He does really like you, Chloe," Benny sheered, jabbing into Bobby's arm with his elbow.

"Benny, I'm gonna-!"

"I see," Chloe interjected, breaking off Bobby's empty threat. She tapped her chin, pondering and humming. Helping both to their feet, she pointed to Bobby sternly. "From my research, I learned that male Earthlings take their females out on 'dates' to see if the relationship is worth exploring."

"Uh…yeah," Bobby replied, unsure of what she was talking about.

"Then, at six o'clock tomorrow night, meet me at the pier. We will have a date." With that, Chloe waved to them and walked back off to camp.

Bobby and Benny stood in placid silence before following after her. The events were still running through their heads as they approached the forest when Benny suddenly turned to Bobby and exclaimed that he had a date with Chloe. Bobby stared at him, opened his mouth, closed it, and fainted dead away. Benny stared at Bobby's twitching form with a smirk on his face, hoisting his arm across his shoulder and walked back to their cabin with a happy aura around him, having a feeling they were more than bullies-in-arms, but actual friends. For the first time, Benny was completely content around Bobby.


End file.
